Sunday, November 18, 2012

Rough Start

Motherhood is a magical experience. Normally it's a lot like playing The Sims. So long as baby's hunger, bladder, sleep, social, and entertainment meters are full -- baby is content. Little toothless smiles up at you after a good nap and happy cooing when baby notices you've entered the room are priceless. That said, it's not all adorable. Being a mom is hard fucking work. For every good day you and your newborn have together, there's bound to be a bad one around the corner as he adjusts to life in the world. I could just spew all the good tales at you, but that's not fair. It's not honest. So, here's the story of this morning.

I've been battling a cold for the better part of a week now, and this morning was no different. Around seven AM, after having only been asleep in his bassinet for thirty minutes or so (par for the course), Jude wakes himself up farting, realizes he's not in mommy's arms and that he has wet his diaper and decides this combination of things are the worst that's ever happened (circumcision aside). Sniffly and exhausted I get up to soothe him so that I may wash my hands, but he is far too sleepy and upset to be truly soothed. So I just have to wash my hands while he fusses and cries about life in the living room.

Hands germ free, I get him on the changing table and alert enough to realize dingos are not eating him, so he's finally calm and content. Until... he pees on himself. The world ends when you pee on yourself. Lets be real, this isn't mere crying like before, this is a true wail fest. He's also peed on me, so I have to go wash my hands again before I can finish the diaper change. Now he's crying even harder to the point of near screaming because not only has he peed on himself but mommy is gone. Dingos must have eaten her. It's a dingo apocalypse up in here.

I return, hands germ free again, and try to soothe him but he is so worked up by this point that it cannot be done. I can't be mommy! I must be the ghost of mommy because dingos ate her two minutes ago! I proceed with the diaper change while he's flailing and crying, cleaning him up, applying the Vaseline to his healing incision, and finally closing the diaper (after several tries due to kicking legs). Once I scoop him back up into my arms everything is right in the world and the wailing instantly stops. I take him back out into the living room and nurse a smiling little boy as if none of this morning really happened and maybe I'm just a crazy person.

Lets hope this isn't an omen as to how the remainder of this day will play out.

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