It has been a while since my last update regarding Jude and where we stand with his autism. Jude is still nonverbal but has begun communicating his wants and needs via PECS, a pictorial exchange system that encourages interaction and communication. Right now this is his preferred method of communication and we're thrilled with it.
Before PECS Jude was frustrated a lot. Being unable to express himself to everyone was the cause of most of his meltdowns. While I could interpret his body language well enough to know what he wanted or needed most of the time, there were still times I couldn't -- and no one else ever could. Now he can say what he wants when he wants to using his PECS book and that's been an amazing experience.
He attends an ASD preschool 5 days a week where he gets speech and occupational therapy two times a week and specialized PE once a week. The program is founded on positive enforcement, so he won't go through the same things I did as a kid. He also gets the benefit of socializing with kids his own age, both with ASD in the classroom and without on the playground. He takes a bus to and from school and his separation anxiety is much, much better.
All in all school has been a great help for him and I would absolutely recommend a specialized ASD preschool for all autistic children. Early assistance is key to avoiding frustration and discouragement.
Sunday, March 19, 2017
PECS: How It Works
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| This is Jude's PECS book. Page 1 has preferred items and activities. |
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| Page 2 has family members, TV shows, actions, and food choices. |
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| Page 3 mostly contains activities but also the names of his favorite books. |
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| Here you see the icon for "I" has been moved into the sentence area. |
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| Official icons are attached to the pages via velcro strips. |
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| Here you can see a homemade icon I've created for a specific snack. |
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| Here icons have been moved to the sentence area to form a request. |
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| The sentence area detaches so that it can be brought to someone to fulfill. |
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| Here the request reads, "I want Cheerios." |
Monday, August 1, 2016
Advice from People With Neurotypical Children
I get a lot of "mommy" advice from parents with neurotypical children that simply cannot apply to my Autistic, nonverbal son. They simply do not get, and even with repeated explaining, cannot get that my child could be so different from theirs. However that is the reality of Autism. I'm sorry, but my child is not like yours. I know you mean well but acting like I am wrong or narrow minded when I turn away your advice is hurtful, honestly. To both me and my child.
The reason I keep trying to point out the glaring differences between my kid and yours isn't to make up excuses not to do x, y, or z but to try to get you to realize these differences and hopefully get them to influence your future advice. Because I know the advice will never stop, you want to help -- but you have to consider your target audience.
I know my child. Even without words I know what he wants or needs 100% of the time. I'm never confused by his body language or facial expression. Never. You need to remember, I am Autistic too. I get it in an intimate way. I've invested all of my time and energy into understanding him. I know his needs and his capabilities where they are at right now. I know what will help him and what will hurt him and to be frank: I'm sorry but a lot of your advice would make him absolutely miserable.
School break?
"Take him to a water park! He can splash and play!"
"Take him to the State Fair! He's love the rides!"
"Take him to the movies! That new Kid's movie is out!!!"
"Take him to this festival, there's live music and fried food!"
"Take him the library, they read books to kids his age every ___!"
Okay. First things first, one almost universal thing among Autistic people is disliking crowds (read: contact with strangers). So with just that alone all of these things are out. He would hate them all. Too many people. He would get overstimulated and anxious in the parking lot before we even paid admission. C'mon.
But just for clarity, let's really break it down for my specific Autistic kid.
Water Park
The biggest issue is that my child has a major sensory aversion to wet things. It's something they have reported on repeatedly at his school. It's something I witness at home every time we try to paint or wash his hands, feed him soft foods, or have a bath. He enjoys a bath and the pool but only if he is absolutely in control of all of the water at all times and it doesn't go above his tush (rinsing and washing his hair is a battle of wills). If you add a bunch of splashing and waves and a big crowd and lots of noise... he would absolutely 100% have a meltdown.
State Fair
The biggest issue is the sheer amount of people who attend the State Fair. You are nonstop shoulder to shoulder with strangers no matter where you go. Even in the restrooms waiting for a stall. Even at the tables where you sit to have lunch. Even in the grass if you need to take a break. The furthest stranger is no more than a foot from you at any given moment. With his aversion to being touched (by anyone other than immediate family), his aversion to crowds, his aversion to loud noise, and his aversion to strangers... he would absolutely 100% have a meltdown.
The Movies
My son is full of energy. Rare is it that he ever actually sits down. It takes me an hour to get him to hold still long enough to fall asleep at night. Trying to convince him to sit for an entire hour is just not going to ever happen and the more you pushed it, the more upset he'd get. Whether Nemo is on the screen or not won't matter. Add in the darkness, the loudness, and the crowd and -- you guessed it... he would absolutely 100% have a meltdown.
Music/Food/Whatever Festivals
A. Crowds. B. Loud. C. Long travel times. My son gets ridiculously car sick if he is in the car for anything more than thirty minutes. 100% of the time, whether the road was straight or curvy, bumpy or not, he's thrown up and been miserable after 30 minutes in the car every time it's ever happened. Every single time. So while I would love to see that International Potato Festival in the middle of no where, it's unrealistic to even try because not only would he puke in the car... he would absolutely 100% have a meltdown once we finally got him there.
P.S. He won't eat anything there. I don't care how world renown that food truck is.
Library Circle Time
This is actually the one thing that might happen... sort of. He would mind it the least, certainly. The crowd being mostly children around his age and small enough to fit in the library would help. He would have absolutely 0 interest in sitting with them or listening to the story though. In all likelihood he would roam the library touching book spines and singing to himself, which I don't need to wake him up early on the second random whatever of the month for. I could just take him to the library at any time and let him run around (though in my experience librarians do not appreciate this at all).
In summary if it is a longer drive from where we live than 20 minutes, will have a crowd larger than 10 people, and requires him to sit down and/or pay attention, it's going to result in him having a meltdown and he really doesn't need that stress.
"Just let him have a tantrum, he'll get over it! My kids usually had a tantrum when we'd first go out but wound up loving it later!"
No, he won't. Unless he is removed from the stress, he will just get exponentially more miserable. The effects of a meltdown can been felt/seen for days after the initial trigger. I'm not going to put him through that so you can feel good about me having taken your advice. He is, again, nothing like your neurotypical child in anything but species. He has unique needs that you NEED to understand, for his sake.
I would love to do more of these types of things with him, but he is not quite ready for that yet and that is fine. Forcing him won't help. He'll get there. In the meanwhile, we'll be enjoying our sidewalk chalk, kiddie pool in the yard, games of tag, dance parties to Bjork, and walks through the neighborhood he's familiar with.
Now, I know you mean well, so here are some things he does love that are feasible you can work with when trying to suggest fun family outings to us because more than anything I want this post to be constructive criticism so that people can offer helpful advice to parents of Autistic children: produce (yes, fruits and vegetables), cats, friendly dogs, shapes, running, jumping, small crowds of similarly aged children, sand, Sesame Street, trees, bouncing balls, bubbles.
Example suggestion:
Local Farmer's Market
Pros: Lots of fruits and vegetables! He won't eat any, but he loves to handle and explore the shapes of them. Relatively quiet. Might be in a park with lots of space to roam and trees to touch. Also it's free.
Cons: Crowd may cause an issue even though it's generally small. Not a confined space, so may wander away from the 'attraction' entirely.
Example suggestion:
McDonald's Playplace
Pros: Small groups of children. A contained space. Brightly colored. Lots of centralized activities he can take part in or simply laugh and watch others take part in. Cost of a drink or french fry to get in.
Cons: Can be loud. Kids may be much older and bigger than him.
Please remember, there's nothing wrong with offering advice and I do always appreciate the sentiment. However it is vital for his health and my sanity that the advice cater to his unique requirements. I know you only want him (or the Autistic child in your life) to have a good time, so let's aim for that together.
The reason I keep trying to point out the glaring differences between my kid and yours isn't to make up excuses not to do x, y, or z but to try to get you to realize these differences and hopefully get them to influence your future advice. Because I know the advice will never stop, you want to help -- but you have to consider your target audience.
I know my child. Even without words I know what he wants or needs 100% of the time. I'm never confused by his body language or facial expression. Never. You need to remember, I am Autistic too. I get it in an intimate way. I've invested all of my time and energy into understanding him. I know his needs and his capabilities where they are at right now. I know what will help him and what will hurt him and to be frank: I'm sorry but a lot of your advice would make him absolutely miserable.
School break?
"Take him to a water park! He can splash and play!"
"Take him to the State Fair! He's love the rides!"
"Take him to the movies! That new Kid's movie is out!!!"
"Take him to this festival, there's live music and fried food!"
"Take him the library, they read books to kids his age every ___!"
Okay. First things first, one almost universal thing among Autistic people is disliking crowds (read: contact with strangers). So with just that alone all of these things are out. He would hate them all. Too many people. He would get overstimulated and anxious in the parking lot before we even paid admission. C'mon.
But just for clarity, let's really break it down for my specific Autistic kid.
Water Park
The biggest issue is that my child has a major sensory aversion to wet things. It's something they have reported on repeatedly at his school. It's something I witness at home every time we try to paint or wash his hands, feed him soft foods, or have a bath. He enjoys a bath and the pool but only if he is absolutely in control of all of the water at all times and it doesn't go above his tush (rinsing and washing his hair is a battle of wills). If you add a bunch of splashing and waves and a big crowd and lots of noise... he would absolutely 100% have a meltdown.
State Fair
The biggest issue is the sheer amount of people who attend the State Fair. You are nonstop shoulder to shoulder with strangers no matter where you go. Even in the restrooms waiting for a stall. Even at the tables where you sit to have lunch. Even in the grass if you need to take a break. The furthest stranger is no more than a foot from you at any given moment. With his aversion to being touched (by anyone other than immediate family), his aversion to crowds, his aversion to loud noise, and his aversion to strangers... he would absolutely 100% have a meltdown.
The Movies
My son is full of energy. Rare is it that he ever actually sits down. It takes me an hour to get him to hold still long enough to fall asleep at night. Trying to convince him to sit for an entire hour is just not going to ever happen and the more you pushed it, the more upset he'd get. Whether Nemo is on the screen or not won't matter. Add in the darkness, the loudness, and the crowd and -- you guessed it... he would absolutely 100% have a meltdown.
Music/Food/Whatever Festivals
A. Crowds. B. Loud. C. Long travel times. My son gets ridiculously car sick if he is in the car for anything more than thirty minutes. 100% of the time, whether the road was straight or curvy, bumpy or not, he's thrown up and been miserable after 30 minutes in the car every time it's ever happened. Every single time. So while I would love to see that International Potato Festival in the middle of no where, it's unrealistic to even try because not only would he puke in the car... he would absolutely 100% have a meltdown once we finally got him there.
P.S. He won't eat anything there. I don't care how world renown that food truck is.
Library Circle Time
This is actually the one thing that might happen... sort of. He would mind it the least, certainly. The crowd being mostly children around his age and small enough to fit in the library would help. He would have absolutely 0 interest in sitting with them or listening to the story though. In all likelihood he would roam the library touching book spines and singing to himself, which I don't need to wake him up early on the second random whatever of the month for. I could just take him to the library at any time and let him run around (though in my experience librarians do not appreciate this at all).
In summary if it is a longer drive from where we live than 20 minutes, will have a crowd larger than 10 people, and requires him to sit down and/or pay attention, it's going to result in him having a meltdown and he really doesn't need that stress.
"Just let him have a tantrum, he'll get over it! My kids usually had a tantrum when we'd first go out but wound up loving it later!"
No, he won't. Unless he is removed from the stress, he will just get exponentially more miserable. The effects of a meltdown can been felt/seen for days after the initial trigger. I'm not going to put him through that so you can feel good about me having taken your advice. He is, again, nothing like your neurotypical child in anything but species. He has unique needs that you NEED to understand, for his sake.
I would love to do more of these types of things with him, but he is not quite ready for that yet and that is fine. Forcing him won't help. He'll get there. In the meanwhile, we'll be enjoying our sidewalk chalk, kiddie pool in the yard, games of tag, dance parties to Bjork, and walks through the neighborhood he's familiar with.
Now, I know you mean well, so here are some things he does love that are feasible you can work with when trying to suggest fun family outings to us because more than anything I want this post to be constructive criticism so that people can offer helpful advice to parents of Autistic children: produce (yes, fruits and vegetables), cats, friendly dogs, shapes, running, jumping, small crowds of similarly aged children, sand, Sesame Street, trees, bouncing balls, bubbles.
Example suggestion:
Local Farmer's Market
Pros: Lots of fruits and vegetables! He won't eat any, but he loves to handle and explore the shapes of them. Relatively quiet. Might be in a park with lots of space to roam and trees to touch. Also it's free.
Cons: Crowd may cause an issue even though it's generally small. Not a confined space, so may wander away from the 'attraction' entirely.
Example suggestion:
McDonald's Playplace
Pros: Small groups of children. A contained space. Brightly colored. Lots of centralized activities he can take part in or simply laugh and watch others take part in. Cost of a drink or french fry to get in.
Cons: Can be loud. Kids may be much older and bigger than him.
Please remember, there's nothing wrong with offering advice and I do always appreciate the sentiment. However it is vital for his health and my sanity that the advice cater to his unique requirements. I know you only want him (or the Autistic child in your life) to have a good time, so let's aim for that together.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Musical Baby
One of Jude's favorite songs since forever is Twinkle Twinkle. I sing it, he sings it. For his birthday we got him a glockenspiel. Mostly he just bangs on the bars but the other day he actually played the first line of Twinkle Twinkle. I did not show him this, Aaron did not show him this. He figured out the notes and played it by ear.
Maybe his middle name should have been Mozart.
Maybe his middle name should have been Mozart.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Three Years Old!
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| Gifts! |
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| New friends |
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| His birthday cake, yum. |
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| Birthday smiles! |
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| First Duplo! |
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| He got the hang of it quick! |
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| His own clock. |
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| A gator glockenspiel. |
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| I think he loves him! |
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| Tiny Tuxedo Mask |
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| :o |
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| Excitement! |
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| A book before bed. |
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| How big he's gotten! |
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Diagnosis, Ongoing Speech Therapy, Preschool, etc.
For those of you asking for an update, here's a portion of the letter regarding Jude's official diagnosis and ongoing speech therapy and qualifications for continued assistence in combination with beginning preschool this fall. Names and agencies edited out for obvious reasons (as much as I love meeting new people, being surprised is actually quite terrifying).
The agency was absolutely thrilled with the loving environment we provide for him at home and how involved, patient, and understanding we were even during his more difficult moments. Apparently that kind of thing is not common in their experience, which makes me kind of sad. Your children need your love and acceptance, especially during hard times.
The agency was absolutely thrilled with the loving environment we provide for him at home and how involved, patient, and understanding we were even during his more difficult moments. Apparently that kind of thing is not common in their experience, which makes me kind of sad. Your children need your love and acceptance, especially during hard times.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Adventures in Speech Therapy
So last week the Speech Therapist penciled us in for this morning,
and said she'd text before Tuesday to make sure we were still on, etc.
Well, no text and no Speech Therapist. We're all still new at this, so
I'm pretty understanding.
I took the initiative to text her asking about our next session and she suggests Thursday at 1:30pm. I remind her moods are in higher spirits before noon. She says she's booked Thursday morning but can offer us tomorrow at 11:00am instead. That's actually perfect. She replies, "I'll see you then. ;)"
Like, omg no. Don't winky face. That implies you might be joking? You might not show up again. This is not the place for winky face! lol.
I took the initiative to text her asking about our next session and she suggests Thursday at 1:30pm. I remind her moods are in higher spirits before noon. She says she's booked Thursday morning but can offer us tomorrow at 11:00am instead. That's actually perfect. She replies, "I'll see you then. ;)"
Like, omg no. Don't winky face. That implies you might be joking? You might not show up again. This is not the place for winky face! lol.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Friday, September 11, 2015
First Speech Therapy Session
First session of speech therapy was today. Mostly just letting Jude
and the therapist get comfortable with one another (because Jude is shy
with adults). They had fun. He cried when she took her toys and left. It
was very sad.
She tried to teach him More, along with the sign for it. It's something we'll be working on until next week when she comes back. She was also playing a game with him where she'd exclaim "Achoo!" and now he is saying "Achoo" when he wants more of something.
I guess it's kind of progress?
She tried to teach him More, along with the sign for it. It's something we'll be working on until next week when she comes back. She was also playing a game with him where she'd exclaim "Achoo!" and now he is saying "Achoo" when he wants more of something.
I guess it's kind of progress?
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Meeting The Preschool Teacher
This morning Jude got to meet his future preschool teacher. He liked her a lot, and of all the new people he has met through this ongoing process, he warmed up to her the fastest. She even got him to touch Playdoh, something he hasn't been willing to do for me at all.
He played with her while she asked us questions about his development and the other assessments. Jude was fascinated by the bells she had brought with her. So much so that while we were helping her clean up, he grabbed one and hid it. No one noticed until a few hours later when he came out of the kitchen ringing it proudly. Tiny thief!
It's his new favorite thing. I planned on buying him one after seeing how much he enjoyed them with her, but now I'll probably just buy her a new one and let him keep this one. It's seeing A LOT of use.
He played with her while she asked us questions about his development and the other assessments. Jude was fascinated by the bells she had brought with her. So much so that while we were helping her clean up, he grabbed one and hid it. No one noticed until a few hours later when he came out of the kitchen ringing it proudly. Tiny thief!
It's his new favorite thing. I planned on buying him one after seeing how much he enjoyed them with her, but now I'll probably just buy her a new one and let him keep this one. It's seeing A LOT of use.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
School District Assessments
Our day began at 8am sharp. We met with the school district's psychologist, speech
therapist, occupational therapist, PE specialist, and a nurse all before
12. Jude handled it surprisingly well, though he was thoroughly done by the end and just wanted all of these people out of our house. Haha.
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
ASD Evaluation
Yesterday pretty much everything that could have gone wrong did, but it inevitably ended alright anyway.
It started the night before, when I realized right before bed that we had a major appointment in the city the next day and I had no time to prepare for it. That probably seems pretty minor to a lot of you, but when you have autism prepping yourself for what to expect when you go someplace new is very important. This generally takes about 24 hours, which I did not have.
So I spent the majority of the morning on the brink of an anxiety attack, all while trying to get myself and Jude ready to go. Jude, who woke my up in the middle of the night again, so we were also both exhausted before noon. But his appointment wasn't until 3, so I basically followed him around for hours trying to prevent meltdowns so that transporting him from point a to point b wasn't a nightmare.
By the time we actually leave I'm actually having a panic attack but I've no choice but to truck on. We get on the freeway and there's wonky construction happening all over the place. The lanes are split and divided by cement blocks. So when we realize we're actually on the wrong 80 (there's 2 and maps rarely specify which), we can't get off because of the dividers.
Aaron plugs the address into his phone to try to navigate us there but his phone is absolutely not cooperating. Now Jude is fussing loudly. I offer him snacks now thinking the complaints are hunger related. They are not.
Just as I'm about to have a heart attack to my mounting anxiety, he barfs. Car sick. We knew he got car sick (I do too) but before it had only ever happened in stop-and-go traffic. This was a straight shot. Welp. "Should we turn around?" Aaron asks.
"No. I think he's got spare clothes in the diaper bag. I'll clean him up, you just get us there."
He cracks a window and I put my seat back so that I can scoop the bloated raisins and bile off of the child and out of his car seat. It's gross. Strangely having to enter ULTIMATE MOM MODE completely took away my anxiety though. So, thanks unexpected toddler puke.
We arrive and Aaron calls to let them know we'll be running late and why, they are gracefully understanding. I use a bottle of water and some paper towels to give Jude a sponge bath in the trunk and then put him in a clean shirt and diaper. There aren't any pants in the diaper bag, but he's not old enough to be embarrassed about running around half naked yet so that's fine.
Aaron takes the clean child and heads inside to get us all situation while I scrub down the car so that it isn't rancid in the summer heat for the 3 hours this is supposed to take. I realize as I'm walking into the building that Aaron took the paperwork with him so I have no idea where to actually go.
It didn't wind up mattering because Jude would absolutely not let him enter the suite without me, and he had to loiter outside in the hallway with a half naked, screaming toddler getting looks from people until I arrived. lol.
We go in, he won't let me put him down. I hold all 40 lb. of him for 20 minutes until we're call back. The appointment itself goes well enough, considering. She suspects ASD but it can be difficult to say definitively at this age. Afterward, Jude falls asleep while I'm holding him and the doctor is talking to us. She talks to us for like... eternity. My arms actually feel like they've been shred to ribbons when I can finally load him back into his car seat. Which was thankfully dry and didn't stink.
We got home, hung out with Jude a while then put him to bed. He of course didn't want me to go, so I sat with him in the dark until he fell asleep. Then I came out and tried to play some video games to unwind, but my dying computer wouldn't let me. Thankfully Aaron suggested we watch a movie instead, because I would've probably bashed my head against that wall until just going to bed defeated.
We watched Kung Fu Hustle and ate chocolate and kettle corn while he basically doused me in Icy Hot. Then, for the first time since last Monday, Jude actually slept through the night.
I feel it is important to share bad days as well as good ones. Not only to vent but because hiding the bad stuff is dishonest. I don't want my life to seem easy so others feel bad when they struggle. No, man. We all struggle. Read about my floundering. Share in my pain.
tl;dr: anxiety attack, loads of barf, arms day ever day, technical difficulties, kung fu hustle, actual sleep.
It started the night before, when I realized right before bed that we had a major appointment in the city the next day and I had no time to prepare for it. That probably seems pretty minor to a lot of you, but when you have autism prepping yourself for what to expect when you go someplace new is very important. This generally takes about 24 hours, which I did not have.
So I spent the majority of the morning on the brink of an anxiety attack, all while trying to get myself and Jude ready to go. Jude, who woke my up in the middle of the night again, so we were also both exhausted before noon. But his appointment wasn't until 3, so I basically followed him around for hours trying to prevent meltdowns so that transporting him from point a to point b wasn't a nightmare.
By the time we actually leave I'm actually having a panic attack but I've no choice but to truck on. We get on the freeway and there's wonky construction happening all over the place. The lanes are split and divided by cement blocks. So when we realize we're actually on the wrong 80 (there's 2 and maps rarely specify which), we can't get off because of the dividers.
Aaron plugs the address into his phone to try to navigate us there but his phone is absolutely not cooperating. Now Jude is fussing loudly. I offer him snacks now thinking the complaints are hunger related. They are not.
Just as I'm about to have a heart attack to my mounting anxiety, he barfs. Car sick. We knew he got car sick (I do too) but before it had only ever happened in stop-and-go traffic. This was a straight shot. Welp. "Should we turn around?" Aaron asks.
"No. I think he's got spare clothes in the diaper bag. I'll clean him up, you just get us there."
He cracks a window and I put my seat back so that I can scoop the bloated raisins and bile off of the child and out of his car seat. It's gross. Strangely having to enter ULTIMATE MOM MODE completely took away my anxiety though. So, thanks unexpected toddler puke.
We arrive and Aaron calls to let them know we'll be running late and why, they are gracefully understanding. I use a bottle of water and some paper towels to give Jude a sponge bath in the trunk and then put him in a clean shirt and diaper. There aren't any pants in the diaper bag, but he's not old enough to be embarrassed about running around half naked yet so that's fine.
Aaron takes the clean child and heads inside to get us all situation while I scrub down the car so that it isn't rancid in the summer heat for the 3 hours this is supposed to take. I realize as I'm walking into the building that Aaron took the paperwork with him so I have no idea where to actually go.
It didn't wind up mattering because Jude would absolutely not let him enter the suite without me, and he had to loiter outside in the hallway with a half naked, screaming toddler getting looks from people until I arrived. lol.
We go in, he won't let me put him down. I hold all 40 lb. of him for 20 minutes until we're call back. The appointment itself goes well enough, considering. She suspects ASD but it can be difficult to say definitively at this age. Afterward, Jude falls asleep while I'm holding him and the doctor is talking to us. She talks to us for like... eternity. My arms actually feel like they've been shred to ribbons when I can finally load him back into his car seat. Which was thankfully dry and didn't stink.
We got home, hung out with Jude a while then put him to bed. He of course didn't want me to go, so I sat with him in the dark until he fell asleep. Then I came out and tried to play some video games to unwind, but my dying computer wouldn't let me. Thankfully Aaron suggested we watch a movie instead, because I would've probably bashed my head against that wall until just going to bed defeated.
We watched Kung Fu Hustle and ate chocolate and kettle corn while he basically doused me in Icy Hot. Then, for the first time since last Monday, Jude actually slept through the night.
I feel it is important to share bad days as well as good ones. Not only to vent but because hiding the bad stuff is dishonest. I don't want my life to seem easy so others feel bad when they struggle. No, man. We all struggle. Read about my floundering. Share in my pain.
tl;dr: anxiety attack, loads of barf, arms day ever day, technical difficulties, kung fu hustle, actual sleep.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Tiny Nightmares: No Sleep
Jude got up at 4am crying, must've had a nightmare. I didn't realize how early it was, even though the sun hadn't risen yet. Assuming it was like 6 or so, I scooped him up and just climbed into his bed with him. He dozed back off for about an hour but then woke up crying again and seemed unable to get comfortable with me beside him. He gets out of bed and leaves.
I assume he has gone out to lay/sleep on the couch. I put up the baby gate and go to grab my phone from beside the bed when I realize, no, he isn't on the couch. He has climbed into bed beside Aaron and is asleep in my spot. I'm about to go lay down in his bed to try to get some more sleep too, when he gets up, mad about Dad's snoring.
I scoop him up again and take him back to his room. I sway with him in the darkness of pre-dawn morning until he's fallen asleep in my arms, then I put him back in his bed. He immediately rolls over and grabs my arm like a teddy bear. Trapped, I stand hunched over his bed uncomfortably for five minutes or so until I can finally make my escape. He cries and rolls over onto his back.
Asleep again, I turn to go. He cries out and trashes around, angry he can't instantly fall back to sleep after each wake-up. I pause so he can see he isn't alone, and he falls asleep again. Desperate for sleep myself, I just grab one of his blankies and his duck pillow and catnap on the floor beside his bed.
I woke up 30 minutes later and he was still out, so I slipped out and went back to my own bed, which Aaron was now firmly planted in the middle of. I wiggled beside him until he moved over and then started to drift off... when suddenly Jude was standing beside me tugging the blankets off. So at 6, we began our day for real.
And this is the story about how I spent 2 hours trying to get someone else to sleep this morning, because man, I'm way better on not enough sleep than he is.
I assume he has gone out to lay/sleep on the couch. I put up the baby gate and go to grab my phone from beside the bed when I realize, no, he isn't on the couch. He has climbed into bed beside Aaron and is asleep in my spot. I'm about to go lay down in his bed to try to get some more sleep too, when he gets up, mad about Dad's snoring.
I scoop him up again and take him back to his room. I sway with him in the darkness of pre-dawn morning until he's fallen asleep in my arms, then I put him back in his bed. He immediately rolls over and grabs my arm like a teddy bear. Trapped, I stand hunched over his bed uncomfortably for five minutes or so until I can finally make my escape. He cries and rolls over onto his back.
Asleep again, I turn to go. He cries out and trashes around, angry he can't instantly fall back to sleep after each wake-up. I pause so he can see he isn't alone, and he falls asleep again. Desperate for sleep myself, I just grab one of his blankies and his duck pillow and catnap on the floor beside his bed.
I woke up 30 minutes later and he was still out, so I slipped out and went back to my own bed, which Aaron was now firmly planted in the middle of. I wiggled beside him until he moved over and then started to drift off... when suddenly Jude was standing beside me tugging the blankets off. So at 6, we began our day for real.
And this is the story about how I spent 2 hours trying to get someone else to sleep this morning, because man, I'm way better on not enough sleep than he is.
Friday, August 21, 2015
OT Assessment
Jude had an OT evaluation this morning and he did really well. Exceptional in some areas, even! Mind he did poorly in others, but the things he is good at he's impressively good at. He seemed to like the woman well enough too, which is nice because he wouldn't interact much with the last lady who came. He wanted to play with her toys, just not her.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Music At The Park
Tonight we headed to the park for gourmet food trucks and live music. Jude was a little cranky because he was tired, but he was happy to play while we ate. Then he went on the swings with Aaron, and then climbed on the jungle gym with me. Of course then he fell off and ate a mouthful of sand. He wasn't hurt and didn't cry, but he certainly was not a fan of sand in his mouth. He kept gritting it between his teeth while making the most awful disapproving expression. I finally got him to drink something to help wash out his mouth and he was a lot happier after that. All tuckered out, he fell asleep on the ride home.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Fear And Pooping in Las Vegas
My life is like a scene from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas right
now. I’m in the bathroom and hear Jude singing loudly. I come out and
he is dancing around the table like it’s a bon fire, his pants and
diaper are around his ankles. In the middle of a circle of strategically
placed toys, on the carpet, is a pile of his poop. As I’m taking this
all in, he trips on his pants and bumps his cheek on the table.
I scoop him up, amazed there is no poop anywhere else, and comfort him. He sobs the lyrics of Twinkle Twinkle into my neck. I ask him if 8 is great, he says it is, then starts singing that song while I pull his diaper and pants back up. He has peed on the back of his pants but not the front, somehow? I change his pants. I ask if he needs a hug. He pouts and reaches for me. We hug.
I scoop him up, amazed there is no poop anywhere else, and comfort him. He sobs the lyrics of Twinkle Twinkle into my neck. I ask him if 8 is great, he says it is, then starts singing that song while I pull his diaper and pants back up. He has peed on the back of his pants but not the front, somehow? I change his pants. I ask if he needs a hug. He pouts and reaches for me. We hug.
He whispers a name into my ear as a single perfect tear rolls down his
cheek. Elmo. I get Elmo from his bed and hand it to him and we create a
people/monster cuddle sandwich. Better now, I put him down to go clean
up the poop that’s been waiting for me on the floor and as I kneel down
he climbs onto my back like I’m a pony. ”Giddy-up,” he shouts. Who even
taught him that word?
…toddlers are amazing.
…toddlers are amazing.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Speech Therapy
Jude woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, super cranky. Had our first meeting/assessment with the Speech Therapist this afternoon. He'll be receiving their services weekly because he obviously qualifies. Unfortunately the women were quite in his face and loud so he had a melt down and I had to hold him the entire time. Then he fell asleep. But even while asleep every now and then I'd feel a tear fall from his shut eyes and land on my arm. Aw, poor Duck.
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